Day 2 – Saturday, June 11, 2011 - Wheatland, MO to Ashland City, TN

Day 2 – Saturday, June 11, 2011
Wheatland, MO to Ashland City, TN

To excited to sleep, I arose at 4:45 AM to start the day. My first battle of the day, the *&%$#@& coffee pot... Have you ever gone to a guest’s house and try to figure out the coffee pot at o-dark-thirty and try not to make noise? Well, if you haven’t, it does not work!

Ronnie sat in the kitchen mocking me, but unwilling to lend a hand. It already had coffee grounds in it, so I added water to the holding tank and turned it on. Let's just say, the coffee was 1) less than warm and 2) tasted like cold water. Oh yeah, and the microwave was less than operational too. Coffee maker 1, rob 0.

Kathy, Pa, Ronnie, and Theresa
at Ma and Pa's house (cell pic)

Ma and pa provided an awesome bacon and egg sandwich for the crew. We discussed the day’s travels, which planned on getting us close to Nashville, TN. The southern route of Missouri, via MO-60, proved to be beautiful this day. The forecast was for sunny skies and no rain. Perfect! I waited for Ronnie to start his bike (so we could hear that it was started), started my semi-quiet HD up, and got on the road around 7:45 AM and headed to Springfield Missouri.

After stopping at the golden arches in Buffalo Missouri (so Theresa could get a diet coke), we arrived at Genes Gallery to look for the right-side cover that Ronnie lost in back Harrisonville. The price tag was $400 for the part. He left without it... We headed a little more south on MO-65 to MO-60 eastbound. Yes, the Smokey and the Bandit theme song rang through my mind as well, and I think I even sang it on the CB for Kathy, Ronnie, and Theresa to hear. It was poised to be a seasonably warm day in southern Missouri, with a high of 90 and a lot of humidity.

Headed to see how long the wait was... (cell pic)

Our short-term goal was to hit Sikeston Missouri for lunch at Lambert's Cafe, for a hearty meal and some famous “throwed rolls.” We got to Lambert's Cafe around 1:00 PM on Saturday and finally sat down for lunch 45 minutes later. Yes, we waited that long, which was not favorable if we were going to get to Nashville Tennessee that day, but hey, it was Lambert’s Cafe. As we waited, we found out that there are special seats that can become available, which are not in the regular seating area. The process includes the host calling for a seating of four to skip the line, first come, first served. We were in the opportune spot, near the host stand when this was called. If not, no telling how much longer we were going to wait.

Lambert’s Cafe has great menu options for dining, but the “throwed rolls” are what they are really famous for. The servers were entertaining as well as the pianist near our VIP seats. They brought around fixins during our stay that were on top of the rolls and regular dinner. Burp! Lamberts throwed rolls are hot, as is their complimentary fried okra. They also push the fried potatoes, tomatoes and macaroni, and even apple butter or molasses for said throwed rolls. Not a single one of us finished the meal at this stop. Theresa and Kathy even got a to go box for their leftover chicken and catfish. Ronnie and I both chose to leave the morsels left over from our respective open face beef sandwiches there.

Praying or looking at the
menu, you decide! (cell pic)

30 minute wait at Lambert's
Cafe turned in to a 45 minute
wait... (cell pic)

After stopping for lunch, we gassed up the bikes, then I waited for Ronnie to start his bike (so we could hear that it was started), started my semi-quiet HD up and headed towards Paducah Kentucky. There were pending rainstorms coming in from our south and west, so we headed out of town quickly. There is a toll ferry that takes cars and bikes across the Mississippi river, but that was in the way of the storm. Forging ahead and a little north, and a little east, we managed to make it through Cairo Illinois and down to the Kentucky Dam, near Paducah Kentucky. What a site that was... there were multiple power grids, water locks, and lots of water. The river was not flowing very well, due to the flooding they are trying to control these days, however it was a sight to see.

We ventured through some side roads and then caught I-24 again and headed towards Nashville. I realized that we spent more time on this interstate highway than desired, but there was not a real good way to get to Nashville in the time desired. You see, my personal goal was to hit 500 miles on this day. For one reason, which I convinced the rest of the group – we wanted Sunday to be easy so we could take our time and see some sights. For another reason, I had planned a surprise for Kathy and Theresa.

No Tell Motel in Ashland City TN

Once we got to an exit pretty near to Ashland City Tennessee, which is just north and west of Nashville. We stopped for some water (seriously this time) at a gas station and checked out motels and hotels on our phones. Most everything was booked due to the 2011 CMA Music Festival in Nashville that weekend. We lucked out, kind of, since we found a room available in Ashland City. Well, we at least got a couple of rooms, at the no-tell-motel, named Relax Inn. However, I was not sure I could relax, nor could anyone else, due to the less than desirable appearance and uncanny odors in the rooms. Never the less, there were not many options, so we took a chance.

Once checked in, we headed back in to town to El Ray Mexican Restaurant for some dinner and a couple of celebratory adult beverages. After all, Theresa and Kathy earned it right? A while back, Ronnie and I did an Iron Butt “Saddle Sore 1000” last September, but the girls did not go with us. You may or may not know, but the recognition Ronnie and I received was due to riding over 1,000 miles in less than 24 hours (1,070 miles in 19 hours and 20 minutes). On this ride, the 500 miles was nearly as tiring as the 1,000 miles we did on September 11, 2010. It was way warmer and our bikes were loaded down with more gear.

Kathy and Theresa did it, and with minimal complaining. They hit over 500 miles in less than 12 hours and my planned surprise could finally be told. Since I thought the girls deserved at least some recognition, I had planned the Saturday to be a full day of riding, in hopes hitting over 500 miles. It was to get them an Iron Butt award of their own. At dinner, I began baiting Theresa and Kathy slightly by stating that I wished that there were an award that recognized such a feat. I mentioned that there should be an award, but just would not know what to call it. Theresa was quick to say, “Well I would call it a Half Ass Award!” My reaction was laughter, as I pulled out some sheets of paper, which I had prepared prior to leaving on our journey, and I made an official announcement. I said, “Kathy Smith and Theresa Wolfe, you did a near miraculous thing today. You each rode over 500 miles in less than 12 hours. What an accomplishment! I have talked to the association that bestows honors for such great feats such as this and would like to give you each an award certificate for a 'Half Ass 500' in recognition." Laughter and tears of joy ensued. We kept it festive with beers and great mexican food.

Kathy and Theresa with their awards

We headed home shortly by way of a local Rite Aide, to pick up water, parlor beer, and Lysol. Each were needed for our stay at no-tell-motel. Kathy had dropped her goggles in the parking lot of the restaurant, so we went back to get them prior to getting to Rite Aide. Good news, they were there and not ran over. Cool part of this portion of the trip, a new friend from Ashland City let us use his Rite Aide frequent shopper card for a $0.37 discount. wOOt! wOOt!

Ronnie with Beer God gifts

Kathy and Theresa went in and hit the rooms hard with the chemicals as Ronnie and I unloaded the bikes. We got settled and had some more beers in the parlor as we recalled the day’s events. We were headed for bed, but wait... You see, I was thinking earlier that a couple more beers would be a great idea, but we were out. All all of a sudden, a beer god showed up and gave us a six pack of bud light. Score! Best thing was, he had the Tennessee accent and he was driving a white Pontiac Trans Am, with minimal exhaust. Albeit that a beer god does not actually drive a white TA, in my mind that is, but all was good on this leg of being east bound and down. Before heading for bed, we pushed our bikes under the eaves of the motel due to forecasted rain overnight.

Some revelations for this second leg of the road trip:

· Jalapeño cheese on bacon and egg sandwich is awesome (and worth subsequent intragastric problems)

· Ronnie was up at 4:30 AM and stayed up until 11:05 PM. I think he might have taken a nap on I-24 when I wasn’t looking. If he really stayed up that late, I think Kathy and I are wearing on him.

· If given the right direction, motorcycles can outrun a 13mph rain front with ease.

· I'm officially scared of bed bugs, even if they weren’t existent.

· Too much Lysol, in confined spaces, is a bad experience.

· Water is your friend on trips like this.

· Friends are like water on trips like this.

· 525 miles this day - give or take – click here our general route.